Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
