i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
