i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
