she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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