i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize