I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
