Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
