All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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