you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
