Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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