i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
