remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
