Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
