a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
