i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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