STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
BRING THE BAGELS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
