Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
