yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
