I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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