There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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