Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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