my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
