I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
