i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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