there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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