HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
