I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
