Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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