so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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