I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
