You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
