Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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