You really coming over, don't trick.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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