He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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