I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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