You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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