it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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