Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the condom got lost in my hair
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I didn't notice because vodka
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
