I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
