Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
kristin has been a bad kristin
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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