dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
