he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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