Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
