Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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