I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
im on a boat
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