so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
