I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
