"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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