Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize