You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize