So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
