Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

  (425): View more from Washington

  for sure. did you let him do it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  thats not the point.

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  (206): i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship. (425): for sure. did you let him do it? (206): thats not the point. http://tfl.nu/qjrv
  Replies (80) Good night (2538) Bad night (3764)
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  (805): View more from California

  Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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  (805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3
  Replies (36) Good night (1327) Bad night (3586)
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  (212): View more from New York

  he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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  (212): he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform. http://tfl.nu/ifar
  Replies (16) Good night (625) Bad night (3442)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.

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  (617): it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together. http://tfl.nu/iel6
  Replies (42) Good night (823) Bad night (3495)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick

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  (217): i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick http://tfl.nu/rn55
  Replies (5) Good night (5658) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

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  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (998) Bad night (7229)
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  (626): View more from California

  in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"

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  (626): in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to" http://tfl.nu/ga0k
  Replies (19) Good night (5199) Bad night (1443)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.

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  (317): He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/3k3l
  Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (3702)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed

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  (901): Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed http://tfl.nu/avah
  Replies (9) Good night (1655) Bad night (4496)
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  (310): View more from California

  It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.

  (415): View more from California

  That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.

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  (310): It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter. (415): That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere. http://tfl.nu/8y5r
  Replies (11) Good night (2004) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.

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  (724): Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge. http://tfl.nu/wjo8
  Replies (3) Good night (1511) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (523) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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  (678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d
  Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (645)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.

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  (603): If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it. http://tfl.nu/n6dm
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.

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  (210): It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings. http://tfl.nu/yuk8
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (218)

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