Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you