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Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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