hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza