youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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