Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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(919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo

Replies (8) Good night (1182) Bad night (853)
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(951): View more from California

ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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(951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a

Replies (17) Good night (3325) Bad night (1435)
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(716): View more from New York

Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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(716): Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it. http://tfl.nu/yc12

Replies (22) Good night (2690) Bad night (1936)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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(610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi

Replies (70) Good night (4048) Bad night (739)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.

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(763): i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately. http://tfl.nu/s9fu

Replies (17) Good night (1013) Bad night (4961)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw

(651): View more from Minnesota

by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix

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(651): dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw (651): by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix http://tfl.nu/95z8

Replies (17) Good night (1470) Bad night (4382)
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(813): View more from Florida

Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.

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(813): Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get. http://tfl.nu/c3cp

Replies (10) Good night (4904) Bad night (974)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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(724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0

Replies (6) Good night (4837) Bad night (944)
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(347): View more from New York

when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign

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(347): when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign http://tfl.nu/d21d

Replies (22) Good night (2969) Bad night (1577)
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(785): View more from Kansas

one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight

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(785): one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight http://tfl.nu/06gq

Replies (12) Good night (2534) Bad night (1235)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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(412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5

Replies (3) Good night (1167) Bad night (615)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I remember it like it was tomorrow.

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(860): Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love (1-860): I remember it like it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1n7o

Replies (2) Good night (2358) Bad night (640)
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(707): View more from California

That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

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(707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh

Replies (1) Good night (1295) Bad night (552)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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(978): I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/61g0

Replies (13) Good night (1965) Bad night (1306)
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(480): View more from Arizona

And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(

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(480): And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :( http://tfl.nu/2iiq

Replies (1) Good night (21) Bad night (63)

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