went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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