Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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