don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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