whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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