The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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