I wannas sexs uuuuu
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
